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    您现在的位置:31省市学位英语网>>陕西>>备考经验
2013年陕西学位英语作文阅卷实例
2013-01-04 12:46     [ ]

评分实例及分析

为了使读者进一步了解评分准则以及自己的写作水平,我们列出了以下5篇不同档次的例文,并对每篇例文进行了分析。

Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic Advantages/ Disadvantages of Advertising on Television. You should write about 100~120 words.

【例文1

Disadvantages of Advertising on Television

With the development of advertising, our television programs are flooded with numerous advertisements every day. Some people hold that advertising on TV has a negative force in society. Others believe that it has many advantages.

In my opinion, Advertising on Television has two main disadvantages. For one thing, advertisements always show happy, rich people, and they make life look easy. However, life is not always easy; on the contrary, it is often very difficult. Advertising acts as a distorted social mirror. For the other, television programs are constantly interrupted by advertisements, which are annoying and offensive to the majority of the audience.

All in all, the advertisement on television is a form of pollution. They invade our visual space and they are a great nuisance.

得分:14

分析:

1)切题,内容丰富,文章通顺,表达清楚。

2)行文流畅,结构清晰,条理性强。本文中,用 For one thing, For the other 来列举电视广告的缺点,最后用All in all 加以总结,脉络很清晰。资料来源:31省市学位英语网www.31xuewei.com

3)句型多样化。简单句、复杂句交错使用,且说理性强。

4)用词得体,基本上没有语言错误。

【例文2

Advantages of Advertising on Television

Nowadays, advertising has already been an indispensable part of TV programs. Advertising on television brings great convenient to customers.

To start with, TV advertising tells the customers almost all kinds of information about a goods. They do not have to feel confused in face of thousands of brands when they go to the market. They just turn on the TV set, watch and decide which particular brand can satisfy their needs best. Moreover, other forms of advertising cannot match TV advertising because it can show you the appearance of the commodity vividly and the way it functions effectively.

In conclusion, TV advertising does good to us. Though some advertising on TV are designed to cheat customers, I believe, with the development of our legal system, TV advertising will surely have a bright future.

分数:11

分析:

1)切题,文章通顺,表达清楚。资料来源:31省市学位英语网www.31xuewei.com

2)结构比较清晰,比较有条理性。本文中,用To start with, Moreover 来列举电视广告的优点,最后用In conclusion 加以总结,脉络较清晰。但在说明广告的优点时,理由不是很充分。

3)基本上没有语言错误,仅有个别拼写及用词错误。

【例文3

Disadvantages of Advertising on Television

Nowadays, when watch TV, we cannot enjoy ourselves as much as before. Advertisements on TV are the destroyer of our entertainment.

Firstly, before watching a wonderful program, people have to watch lots of advertisements makes people impatient. Yet what is worse is that advertisements often break in during a wonderful program. People get angry, but they have no chooses. Some advertisements are not very health, they cast a darkness over our entertainment. For example, there are horrible and sexual scenes in some advertisements. During the entertainment, parents must be nervous and careful to prevent their children from watching them.

From the above discussed, we have seen clearly the disadvantages of advertisements on TV. Therefore steps must be taken to deal with TV advertising strictly.

分数:8

分析:

1)     基本切题。资料来源:31省市学位英语网www.31xuewei.com

2)     条理性不强。第二段在列举广告的缺点时,除了段首的 Firstly 就找不出其它连接词了。

3)     有些地方思想表达不够清楚(如文章中画线部分)。

4)     存在较多的拼写错误及语法错误,其中有一些属于严重错误。

【例文4

Advantages of Advertising on Television

Everyday when you turn on TV, you may find many colorful advertising. Though they are some disadvantage of it, but in my view, advertising on TV is good method of entertainment.

As we know, TV set is one of the greatest inventions in 20th century. Now it becomes a main channel which people can obtain all kind of information of outside. In average, each family holds a TV set, and people spend a part time to watch television everyday. Advertising on TV is not only an introduction of production as well as a kind of art. It combines photograph, technique, acting, speaking together. A good ad can fresh you a lot, especially when we are tired of boring TV series. Advertising on TV is an unnecessary trend in modern society. What we should do is develop and change it.

分数:5

分析:

1)基本切题。资料来源:31省市学位英语网www.31xuewei.com

2)思路不清,没有条理性。

3)意思表达不清楚。

4)有相当多严重的词汇和语法错误。

【例文5

Disadvantages of Advertising on Television

Advertising plays good roles in our society. Advertising has advantages and disadvantages as well know. But the disadvantages is more bigger than advantages. The first is advertising cheat us. The second is lead us to a wrong way. TV stations want to earn many money by itself. So advertisements effect the general impress of TV. And ungood time for advertisements effects badly on us. For instance, nowadays, a TV serial always break up for 3 or 4 times! How terrible it is!

In a word, I hate advertising on TV. I hope it can not appear a day.

分数:2

分析:

1)思路紊乱,条理不清。

2)无法理解本文作者所要表达的意思。      

3)几乎每一句话都有拼写错误或语法错误。且大多数都为严重错误。

 

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